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Steve Harvey

STRAWBERRY LETTER - MY HUSBAND LOVES HIS FEMALE FRIENDS

 
STRAWBERRY LETTER - MY HUSBAND LOVES HIS FEMALE FRIENDS

Dear Steve and Shirley, My husband and I have been married for 19 years and we have 2 children. We have built a pretty decent life for ourselves. My issue is my husband and his female friends. I know that he was raised by a single mom, grandmother and aunts and that there wasn't a significant male in his life. I get that. He's used to talking to mostly women. What I don't get is why they have to go on lunch outings when I'm at work, or go grocery shopping together, or talk for hours about how she thinks her husband is messing around (just some examples). He works at night so his days are free. His excuses are usually things like. "well she paid for it, or she put some gas in my car". I really don't care that she paid, I am just uncomfortable with the whole situation. He tries to convince me that it's my insecurities that makes me feel this way. When I try to flip it and say, "What if a man was taking me to lunch and giving me money" (yes giving him money!!!), he says that if I'm not giving him a reason to think something is going on, then he wouldn't have a problem with it. I'm not stupid, I know he is just trying to rationalize his situation. I guess I just need to know if I'm being unreasonable. This is not the first time. The first one was a mutual friend and while I was at work, they would go take drives in the country or go play pool. Her husband spoke to me (I guess feeling me out to see how I felt), then when we confronted them (my husband and her), he acted like it wasn't a problem for him and I was the only one with the problem. I stood my ground and they distanced themselves, but not before trying to make me feel like I was some kind of monster ("we spend most of the time talking about you, you took my friend away"). I feel like it's dangerous to put yourself in a situation where you are discussing your innermost thoughts about your spouse with anyone other than your spouse or therapist. I guess I need to know if I do have the self-esteem issues that he claims I have. I just don't know other women who would put up with this. Is it me? Am I crazy? Help me out please! Signed Love my man but not his women

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