I'm Calling for a Winter Shutdown

Bundle up this weekend and get ready for the worst next week when, by my estimate, Chicago will freeze solid, right where it stands.

Wind chills were in the teens and 20s below zero yesterday… it was so cold here that our temps were lower than parts of Alaska, Iceland and at the South Pole in Antarctica. It was even warmer on the planet Mars during the day.

Even more dangerous temps are headed our way by midweek… we’re looking at forecasted air temperatures of 10 below zero during the day on Wednesday and close to 20 below zero that night. And that’s without the wind chills.   

I was on a group text with my girls yesterday – we were trying to meet up with the Amazon deal truck but not in that weather – and I (very seriously) said, “You know the Cold ain’t my friend”… then my girl Jenn shut it all down by hitting us all back with, “I hate that heifer, the Cold.” 

Think about it... it's so cold now that the salt isn't melting the ice, it's just sitting on top of it like a crunchy topping and everything is permanently ashy, including your car!

So… I’m voting for us to shutdown in protest to winter. If we all don’t show up or just go away somewhere warm, maybe it’ll get the message and leave us alone? It’s just downright disrespectful and it must stop.   

Jeanne Sparrow


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